Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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