I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So vagazzling was a success
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize