LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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