Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
