there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
