A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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