I think scott just propositioned me for sex
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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