my text book just quoted the cookie monster
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
