they need to just BURY HIM!
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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