It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Houston, we have a blender
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
