You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
