Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
How's work?
Spinning.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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