i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
