yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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