at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
