he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
