of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
