let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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