Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
