their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
