He is an equal opportunity slut.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
