Buhtt sex?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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