I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize