i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
