I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
