Having a random hookup so left but love u
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
