when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
