What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
