If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
