dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
