mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
