You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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