I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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