Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
