I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
