sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
