Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
