Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
