There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
