hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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