Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
