That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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