yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
