i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
