I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
do herpes really smell.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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