): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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