we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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