Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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