he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
