Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
