i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
