so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
