Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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