There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
